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By Oblomov
Posts
#616072
Thanks for that Malc, it's calming me down somewhat after news that my sister is going to drive down to visit our parents this Sunday even though I'd rather she stayed away for the time being. She will take some masks and gloves from work and sit as far away as she can but indoor meetings just don't make me comfortable at the moment.
Malcolm Armsteen liked this
 
By Boiler
Posts
#616078
I'm going to visit my mother in law on Friday: I haven't seen her for some time now and she has a problem with her Humax PVR (I got an electronic 'funny look' from my sister when I said 'her video'). Trouble is, m-i-l will hover, I just know it. I'd rather she stayed outside or in the kitchen whilst I'm taking screwdrivers to it.
 
By Projective Unity
Membership Days
#616079
Malcolm Armsteen wrote:Morning Boiler, morning everybody.

Feeling a lot better today. It's not true that you on;y fall downstairs once!

In 2000 I took a proper purler in France. We had just bought our house and the staircase was primitive to say the least. One night, about 1am we decided we needed a cup pf tea. In those days we onl;y had our bedroom and an ensuite bathroom. When we turned on the kettle it tripped a circuit. Downstairs. It was February, and bloody cold, so I set off downstairs wearing only a pair of socks and carrying a candle. I lost my footing on the top stair, and instead of going tumbledy-bonk I went whoo - didn't touch a thing until I hit the stone wall at the bottom, a couple of feet above the floor.
Concussed, two black eyes, broken wrist, gashed leg. It was a corker. In one of those idiot conversations one has after a diaster I remember her asking me - I was covered in blood - if I was alright, and replying that I thought I had fallen downstairs...

As we were new to the game, and because she has (or had) little French Mrs A didn't call an ambulance. Instead the next morning she took me to a hôpital. Which isn't a hospital, of course, it is a place for the elderly and confused. She eventually drove me back to England where I received what can only be described as abysmal care from the John Major Neglected NHS of that time. My leg is only just healing after 20 years.
This was the staircase when we first saw the house. Since replaced!
1999 007.jpeg
So a drop and slide was nothing in comparison.

Have a great day, one and all, stay safe.
If you went down those stairs in only a pair of socks you're lucky you didn't catch a bollock on a splinter or a rusty nail
 
By The Red Arrow
Membership Days Membership Days Posts
#616083
I once deliberately slid on a lino tiled kitchen floor wearing only a pair of socks, singing "Get your rocks off, get your rocks of honey!" only to discover that the object of my affection had invited her mother in for coffee...


Er, carry on, chaps.
 
By Oblomov
Posts
#616112
The Red Arrow wrote:
Wed Jul 01, 2020 1:10 am
I once deliberately slid on a lino tiled kitchen floor wearing only a pair of socks, singing "Get your rocks off, get your rocks of honey!" only to discover that the object of my affection had invited her mother in for coffee...


Er, carry on, chaps.
One of my university flings accidentally tripped on our stairwell carpet as we were en route to passionate evening in my room, which deflated the mood somewhat :oops:
The Red Arrow liked this
 
By Bones McCoy
Membership Days Posts
#616116
Tiny Goblin (17) has an important interview.
The prize might be a lucrative looking scholarship.
It's in the west country, and they will pay for train travel.

Curently looking for a train service to arrive at 10:00 on a Monday without being knackered and looking like a scarecrow.

Times like this you suddenly realise how badly the nation's infrastructure has slipped.
The Red Arrow, Cyclist liked this
 
By Abernathy
Membership Days Membership Days Posts
#616119
The Red Arrow wrote:
Wed Jul 01, 2020 1:10 am
I once deliberately slid on a lino tiled kitchen floor wearing only a pair of socks, singing "Get your rocks off, get your rocks of honey!" only to discover that the object of my affection had invited her mother in for coffee...
Read that one in Forum magazine. It ends with a filthy threesome between sock guy, his bird, and her mother, involving sucking and apertures.
 
By Boiler
Posts
#616121
Bones McCoy wrote:
Wed Jul 01, 2020 12:29 pm
Tiny Goblin (17) has an important interview.
The prize might be a lucrative looking scholarship.
It's in the west country, and they will pay for train travel.

Curently looking for a train service to arrive at 10:00 on a Monday without being knackered and looking like a scarecrow.

Times like this you suddenly realise how badly the nation's infrastructure has slipped.
I take it there's no overnight sleepers to the destination? Otherwise hotels &c. are reopening on the 4th, that may be the only way.
 
By The Red Arrow
Membership Days Membership Days Posts
#616122
Abernathy wrote: Read that one in Forum magazine. It ends with a filthy threesome between sock guy, his bird, and her mother, involving sucking and apertures.
Mine ended with mother saying "Is it that cold upstairs?" :(
 
By The Red Arrow
Membership Days Membership Days Posts
#616123
Bones McCoy wrote:
Wed Jul 01, 2020 12:29 pm
Tiny Goblin (17) has an important interview.
The prize might be a lucrative looking scholarship.
It's in the west country, and they will pay for train travel.

Curently looking for a train service to arrive at 10:00 on a Monday without being knackered and looking like a scarecrow.

Times like this you suddenly realise how badly the nation's infrastructure has slipped.
Scarecrows are fine, tell him not to arrive looking like a statue :wink:
By mr angry manchester
Membership Days Posts
#616148
Abernathy wrote:
Wed Jul 01, 2020 12:35 pm
The Red Arrow wrote:
Wed Jul 01, 2020 1:10 am
I once deliberately slid on a lino tiled kitchen floor wearing only a pair of socks, singing "Get your rocks off, get your rocks of honey!" only to discover that the object of my affection had invited her mother in for coffee...
Read that one in Forum magazine. It ends with a filthy threesome between sock guy, his bird, and her mother, involving sucking and apertures.
Sure it was Forum and not the problem page of the Sun?

PS my mother in law was more Ena Sharples than a MILF
 
By Bones McCoy
Membership Days Posts
#616163
Boiler wrote:
Wed Jul 01, 2020 12:41 pm
Bones McCoy wrote:
Wed Jul 01, 2020 12:29 pm
Tiny Goblin (17) has an important interview.
The prize might be a lucrative looking scholarship.
It's in the west country, and they will pay for train travel.

Curently looking for a train service to arrive at 10:00 on a Monday without being knackered and looking like a scarecrow.

Times like this you suddenly realise how badly the nation's infrastructure has slipped.
I take it there's no overnight sleepers to the destination? Otherwise hotels &c. are reopening on the 4th, that may be the only way.
Travel down on Sunday involves at least 4 changes and 14 hours.
That's before bus replacements and track repairs take their toll.
 
By Oblomov
Posts
#616193
Morning all,

Bit of a health scare last night as I suddenly developed a peculiar sensation at the back of my mouth/top of my throat, almost like a fish bone had been lodged there. Drinking water seemed to mitigate it somewhat and then when I tried to lay on my side to sleep, my sinuses seemed to flow downwards into my throat. Increased coughing but that was only to dislodge all the phlegm and I can breathe fine otherwise so I'm hoping it's just the common cold. Will monitor over the next few days.

In building news, the works upstairs are meant to be finished this week. Hooray! But another couple of houses on the street are now having works done to them. For feck's sake, I'm probably not going to be allowed past my front door without 5 point PPE soon :(
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